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Your New Years Resolutions

December 28, 2012

Since most people need to whistle to know what end to wipe, I thought it would be more efficient if I just provided a list of New Years Resolutions for the population at large. They are in the ancient Egyptian form of negative affirmations.

– I will no longer repeat the insanity: There are more of Us than there are of Them.

– I will no longer believe that mankind can Wake Up.

– I will no longer think that Education can change anything.

– I will no longer work towards useless goals.

corollary:
– I will not Occupy anything but my own toilet because unless I have taken over the given target, then the word, its meaning, and my actions are full of shit.

– I will not give money to causes that I think are working on My Side because 99% of them are already run and funded by the Other Side and the other 0.99% are already run and funded by the Other Side. I will use my money for my own spontaneous and inventive plan to return the planet to peace. [Oh. No. That wasn’t a negative affirmation. Well — maybe it was — these whistle-wipers won’t do the right thing anyway. That’s a negative.] That’s why I wouldn’t suggest sending money to the Grain Ghetto Dude because stupid people seek out and cause to prosper stupid causes that actually work against them, and we have it on very good authority that Stupid is Contagious, so I don’t want any part of Crazy.

– I will not be addicted to Fear Porn.

– I will not expose myself to digital broadcasts, fluoridated water, bromine in bread or sodapop, GMO foods, solanine, caffeine, nicotine, or theobromine.

– I will not continue to live my life unsupplemented with nascent Iodine, pure carbonated water, and Real Salt. Thank you Edgar Cayce wherever you aren’t.

– I will not think that resistance is futile but spend my every waking and sleeping moment on how to optimize and leverage opposition.

– I will not let Outside Agency ever tell me what to think.

– I will not

– I will

– I

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